<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>How Forever Begins by arcane_illusions</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29327496">How Forever Begins</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcane_illusions/pseuds/arcane_illusions'>arcane_illusions</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Annoyed Lily Evans, Arguing, Confused James Potter, F/M, Family, Happy Ending, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Morning Sickness, Revelations</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:53:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,990</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29327496</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcane_illusions/pseuds/arcane_illusions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily is acting strangely, and James is determined to get to the bottom of it. What he finds out, it alters the course of his life forever.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>A Riddikulus Flash Competition</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How Forever Begins</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">



        <li>In response to a prompt by
            Anonymous in the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/RiddikulusComp">RiddikulusComp</a>
          collection.
        </li>
    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/RiddikulusComp">A Riddikulus Flash Competition</a>, with the prompt of 'Very Annoyed Lily Evans'.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Something was off about Lily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was more irritable than usual, snapping at James more frequently, and refusing to cuddle with him. She got upset over the littlest things like which tablecloth pattern was better, and when he insisted upon getting the blue-patterned over the pink-patterned, she burst into tears and drew many curious, alarmed looks from the other customers in the aisle. Muttering an apology and reassuring the elderly woman with a pointy umbrella that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>accosting his wife, James grabbed the pink-patterned tablecloth and quickly ushered Lily out of the store. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the parking lot, she rounded on him and shouted, “You always have to ruin everything!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James was bewildered. What had he done? “Lily, I was just —”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not talking to you.” Lily crossed her arms and huffed, striding away angrily. Before getting into the car, she called, “I’ll let you talk to me when you acquire a better taste in tablecloths.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Buttery sunlight streamed in through the gap in the red curtains. James blearily opened his eyes, blinking owlishly as his eyes registered the light, and rolled over. Instinctively he reached for his wife’s warm body, intending to pull her closer to him, but his hand met empty sheets. As his senses got adjusted to the surroundings, he thought he heard retching coming from the loo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A little more alarmed now, he scrambled out of the bed, jammed his glasses onto his nose </span>
  <em>
    <span>(“Ow ow OW!”),</span>
  </em>
  <span> and stumbled towards the loo. His foot slipped on his shirt (which he’d just haphazardly tossed aside when he’d gotten into bed, leading to more vehement cursing), and it slid forward, forcing him into some kind of gymnastics position (a split?). Grabbing on the bed for balance, James slowly edged his way around it and kept his eyes on the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Entering the loo, he was treated to an alarming sight. Even though he’d heard the noise and been prepared, he was not expecting Lily to look the way she did right now. She was on her knees in front of the toilet, bent over the seat, and her hair was a curtain around her face. James spotted perspiration glistening on her neck. Concerned, he knelt next to her and brushed some of the hair out of her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lily recoiled away from his touch, turning away. Her dry heaving had ceased, and James didn’t dare to look in the toilet. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just leave me alone,” she all but hissed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James flinched but persisted. “Are you okay? Are you ill? You look like —”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“— hell, I know,” she finished, now sounding more miserable than nettled. “James, I’m fine, I just need a moment to myself, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James didn’t like leaving her alone, especially when she </span>
  <em>
    <span>clearly </span>
  </em>
  <span>wasn’t fine. He’d been married to her for more than a year and had known her for all his life. In all his life, he’d only seen her like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>once, when she’d broken up with her first boyfriend after finding out he was a pathetic, cheating prick. He’d sat with her then for hours and held her in his arms and comforted her as she cried into his shoulders, her tears soaking into his shirt because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved </span>
  </em>
  <span>her. At that moment, he’d come to the conscious, unfaltering vow that he would always be there for her. Even if she didn’t want it. Even if she didn’t ask for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gazing at her now, shivering with her arms wrapped around her stomach and her brilliant green eyes dull, indecision tore his heart in two. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t leave you. Don’t make me leave you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he said instead, the protective husband in him roaring a furious but futile protest. “I’ll go.” To soften the edge in his words, he added, “I’m just worried about you. You haven’t been the same these past few days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If possible, Lily’s arms seemed to tighten around her stomach, and she looked away as she spoke her next words. “A lot has changed these past few days.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Every morning, James woke up the same day he had the morning before. Every morning, he’d squint at the shapeless heap of blankets and the wrinkled white sheets, and feel disappointed. Every morning, he’d lie in bed, listening to his wife vomiting in the toilet and feeling helpless. She was obviously ill, but she wouldn’t let him near enough to do anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hated seeing her in distress, and every day she carried herself like she was walking on pins and needles, jumping every time he spoke to her or tried to ask her what was going on. Her responses were sharp and snappy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s probably pissed at you for something, mate,” was Sirius’s very insightful, helpful take on the matter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But that doesn’t explain the...vomiting. I feel like her moods are connected to it somehow, but I have no bloody clue. Blimey, I hope there’s nothing serious going on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sirius visibly fought the reflex to make the obvious pun, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Here’s an idea,” he said. “Ask one of her friends. Birds like to gossip and tell each other things all the time. One of them might know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, but I don’t think Lily has been to any slumber parties lately,” said James dryly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sirius sighed dramatically. “I didn’t mean it like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he muttered. “Girls talk to each other all the time. They tell each other things that their significant others don’t know.” He sounded resentful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You speak like you’ve had experience with this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I have, or maybe I know girls better than you. Girls flock more to me anyway. I’m a ladies’ man, after all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hate to break it you, but they’re not sheep,” James pointed out, not addressing the subtle jab Sirius had made towards his love life. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>married, </span>
  </em>
  <span>for heaven’s sake. “And I think the term you’re looking for is </span>
  <em>
    <span>womanizer.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sirius frowned, scratching his head. “Now that’s just insulting. I am not a womanizer.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“He is definitely a womanizer,” Marlene stated confidently. “He sees anything with a rack and an arse and decides that his manhood must be satisfied. Hell, the only reason he didn’t make a move on Lily is that he knew how much you fancied her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James chewed his lower lip, studying the table. “Has she told you anything? About why she’s so...moody?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Word of advice, Potter.” Marlene leaned forward. There was something in her eyes that unnerved him. “Never call her moody to her face, she won’t take that well. And yes, she’s told me something, but that’s for you to figure out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It became crystal clear the eleventh morning James woke up to the sound of Lily emptying the contents of her stomach. He got out of bed and shuffled into the loo, pausing in the doorway. Something sticking out of the rubbish bin caught his eye. Something like a stick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James remained where he was in the doorway, glancing between his wife and the stick. He longed to go to her and push the hair out of her face, but she wouldn’t let him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was curious; he couldn’t help it, so as soon as she got up, flushed the toilet, washed her face, and stalked out of the loo, he went to the bin and withdrew the stick, holding up in the light. The stick was white and pink, with a small screen, with two lines and — </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James’s eyes widened as he read the small pink letters on the stick, telling him what the two lines meant.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t touch that if I were you,” Marlene advised him, but her eyes were sparkling. “She peed on that stick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James dropped the stick immediately, and Marlene laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It all makes sense now,” James admitted. “Her mood swings, how irritated she was at me, and how sick she was — that was morning sickness, wasn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No shit, Sherlock.” Marlene chuckled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s one thing I don’t understand, though,” said James as the thought sprung up in his mind. “Why hasn’t she said anything to me yet? This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>huge </span>
  </em>
  <span>news.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the thing,” Marlene said, her tone turning serious. “It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>huge </span>
  </em>
  <span>news. It’s big for you, but imagine how...how enormous it must be for her, knowing that she’s carrying a baby. There’s a whole another </span>
  <em>
    <span>human </span>
  </em>
  <span>growing inside of her, and she’s going to bring it into the world. After that, it’s her responsibility to feed it, change its nappies, bathe it — she’s got to be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>mother.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James stared into his tea, into its shallow depths, his mind whirling. Marlene had a point — this was probably harder for Lily to process — but why hadn’t she told him? They could have talked it out, her feelings and her worries, and cleared the air. They could have avoided all of this miscommunication.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Being a mother is scary,” Marlene murmured, gazing at her tea. “Not that I’d know about it, but my mates, and now Lily, they’re all having children, and it makes me wonder…” She trailed off, sighing forlornly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James felt awkward, feeling as though he was intruding in on something personal; Marlene clearly had her own feelings to sort out. Deciding that he’d gotten the answers he’d wanted (or at least, enough to tide him over for now), James stood up, abandoning his unfinished tea. “Thanks for the tea, Marlene,” he said politely. “And thanks for...enlightening me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene nodded, still subdued.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“Lily, we need to talk,” James said firmly, leaving no room for argument in his tone. After visiting Marlene, he’d come straight home. He’d found his (pregnant) wife on the sofa, browsing the TV guide, but she looked up when James spoke. James was relieved to see that she seemed stunned, which mitigated the chance of retorts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James steeled himself. “Lily, I know you’re pregnant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lily’s lips pinched, and she seemed to close off right away. “How did you find out?” she asked tightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I found a pregnancy test in the rubbish bin,” he said honestly. “What I’m concerned about is not that you’re pregnant — I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>thrilled </span>
  </em>
  <span>about that — but the fact that you felt that you couldn’t confide in me. I’m your </span>
  <em>
    <span>husband, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Lils, and the father of this baby. How can we be parents if we can’t communicate properly?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t have to wait long for a response, because Lily’s eyes flashed indignantly. “You don’t understand,” she snapped, but James interrupted before she could go on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What don’t I understand? That you’re trying to hide your pregnancy from me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not that.” Lily sighed. “I’m scared, James. I’m terrified of having this baby. I’m not fit to be a mother, I can barely go to the supermarket without feeling anxious. A baby is an enormous responsibility, they’re going to rely on me heavily, and I just know that I’m not going to be a good mother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now that her fears were out in the air, it felt like a door had opened between them. This is what was bothering her? Now James felt like he wasn’t flailing around blindly in the dark.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lily Potter,” he said, pouring as much sincerity into his voice as he could, and walking to her. He sank to his knees, clasping both her hands between his and meeting her eyes. “There is no way you’ll be an awful mother. You’re a kind, loving, beautiful woman, who I know will be a bloody </span>
  <em>
    <span>fantastic </span>
  </em>
  <span>mother. You’re going to love this baby to death, and they’ll so proud to call you their mother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lily’s face cleared. Although she wasn’t entirely convinced, James had nine months, more or less, to persuade her. “Thank you, James, and thank you for being so patient. I treated you horribly, and for that, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James squeezed her hands, love bursting from his chest, his eyes. “Whatever it is,” he said, “just come to me, okay? We can work through it together.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t make that mistake again.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>2000 words by Google Docs</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>